Over the past few months, since school has started, this reappearing question of "what is value?" Has been knocking at my door.
The first instance was in my AP English class- we created blog for this course- on the first day of school my teacher said "these blogs give your name value."
What?
A blog gives my name value? And of all things a blog of my English homework gives my name value? I didn't understand. Would I even consider this very blog to give my name value?
You have to think about it for a minute. I had to think about this for months. What gives me value? Is it a blog? Is it an award? Is it a talent? The question so ambiguous, a conclusion seems nearly impossible.
Today I think I figured it out. You can't give yourself value. You can only recognize the value others see in you. And I can't quite spell it out neatly, because I'm not all to sure how this all clicked for me, but it did.
Today, my seat partner in AP Econ, smiled and said "Bye Imanie." As I got up from my seat and walked toward the door.
Today I realized how easily a person can give you value. And, today I realized what value really is.
I very much like that idea of value. It goes hand in hand with validation, that was one of my favorite days in ASB last year. Validation gives us value, but what's it like for those who are never recognized for what they do? Do they feel like they have no value? I think that question is pretty true.If you live your life with good grades and they're expected, you're not really going to be congratulated and even though you're going through school, you could still feel worthless. This value thing really sucks when it comes to college application season. I am supposed to give a grand total of the value my life has in terms of what those admission offices think is notable. I have worked for years trying to build myself up and now I don't even care about most of what I have to show. Is it what I really wanted to be doing with my time? I like helping people, a lot. I also have come to learn that I like to be creative, and unfortunately you don't get much credit or validation for taking a great photo that you poured your heart and soul into. The value others see in you can be insightful because you might not notice that one thing about yourself that everyone else loves about you. Those are the best moments, like in tennis today. I missed a lot of balls at the net in my three sets, but after each game and after the match, girls from the other team would compliment me on my volleys and net game- even the girls who I didn't play against. That was really nice and made me feel important. I dislike though, how what we think is of value in ourselves isn't recognized by others. That's probably the time when we have to tell ourselves not to care about what other people say. It's tough, caring about what people say about you on one hand and having to brush it off on the other. You're right, you really can't give yourself a numerical value, I think that your actions, integrity, and character will reveal it.
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