English Actually Taught Me Something Today

Ouch. I know, that's a bit harsh, and a hyperbole but it does hold truth.

In English we are often assigned homework that will go unchecked because we are AP students and Juniors so the teacher shouldn't have to check. As the laziest AP student and writer I know, I don't typically do the homework in entirety, or at all. (Sorry) However, tomorrow things are actually due, so I'm doing them! This is definitely a double edged sword. I know I'm not putting in the effort as a student, but I also feel my teacher isn't putting in effort either. 

We are learning about modernism and postmodernism characteristics (or at least we were last week when this was assigned) and upon typing out those characterists I came across this under both modernism and postmodernism characteristics: "Less confidence the work of art is unique, coupled with a sense that culture endlessly duplicates and copies itself" and "Loss of confidence in the Renaissance notion that a great work of art is immortal and ensures immortality for its author" 

 I mean immediately after I read that I just thought: "holy crap, writers are extremely selfish" and after turning over those words in my head for a while I kept thinking "wow being selfish makes me feel good". 

I still can't even put this concept into my head and give you some intellectual explanation of how I feel about it. It's just there, a fact. I like the concepts Selfishness is good sometimes. I'd even go as far as to say healthy at times. Immortality and duplications. Have you heard of the saying that you die two times? Once when you heart stops beating and again when your name is said for the last time. What if your name was never said for the last time? Death is only our middle. After that, well, that depends on you. (I'm definitely not making any allusions to heaven or hell).

Everytime I go see a movie that's main line is a romantic plot I get so frustrated. I am so utterly tired of such similiar plots. I want new, different, fresh! But where does that come from? Our minds are only capable of what we think they are capable of. But we do only know what we know and don't know. That made sense to me. Did you get that? Anywho, everything's a duplicate of something else and I'm still trying to figure out how to break that.