The People Vs. The Referee

 

Never have I felt the phrase "sticks and stones may break your bones but words could never hurt me" to be so untrue until tournament weekends like this. It seems like competition brings out worst in parents, and somehow, it's all my fault. 

Being a referee is something I quite enjoy, seeing the game from another perspective has always appealed to me. It isn't until these tournament weekends come along that it all just really gets to me. It's easy to yell at the ref as a parent, player, or coach, but it's a lot harder to be the ref and take it. Most of the time I can brush it off pretty easily, but there was something about today that let it all in. Maybe it was the sun burning through my sunscreen or the abnormal sarcastic comments from the coaches, or parents going out of their way to tell me that I'm a terrible referee and I make terrible calls, or maybe it was one coach passing on to another to be weary of the "shitty refs".

I feel like giving my shirt, badge, and whistle to the coaches and parents and telling them "here, you do it". I also feel like giving out my resume to get a little respect on the field and to assure them that a 17 year old girl, yes girl, does in fact know what she is doing, and did pass her referee test with a 93% and has indeed been reffing for six years and she is infact the head referee who has officiated up to the national level. The yelling, the badgering, and the condescension gets tiresome. 

Another point of frustrations comes from the weakness and the easiness to harass seen by spectating that comes with being a girl referee, as well as the lack of seriousness taken when I address parents and coaches. A boy referee of less skill and experience than I will get more respect 8 times out of ten for the mere fact that they are male. 

The worst part of the gig is the impact parents make when they specifically go out of their way to find you after a game and vent to you all of the ways "you suck" to accomplish what? The game is over, nothing can be changed, this is youth league, AND YOU WON. Take the win, and enjoy it. Don't roast the ref. I hope these parents think about what they are teaching their children. And I hope these parents realize that no one is perfect, even referees. 

It's a hard night when all is said and done and you can still hear the parents voices in your head. It's supposed to be about the game, not the referee.