Short Nights

Sometimes the nights are too long, I wake up with hours of darkness to go but I'm ready to start the day. There's nothing particularly on my mind, and I'm not abnormally excited for the coming day I just slept a few hours and I guess that's enough. 

I'm up and ready to begin. What I'm up so eagerly to start, I don't know. I'm not all too sure of what I do know in cases like these. It's still so early (or late, however you perfer to see it) that I'm moderately tired enough to not really be able to sort through my own thoughts, do some heavy thinking, or really write anything of substance. I try to get up and just get moving. It's better to start the day a little too early than it is to sulk around in bed awake for a few hours. 

Writing out my thoughts helps me the most. Writing or saying any thoughts makes them seem tangible and easier to wrap my head around and work with. Though this is all just a string of whatever is coming to mind as I sit in bed at 4am, it starts to wake me up mentally. I think this state of mind between being asleep and awake is my least favorite mindset. My head is awake, up and racing- so I know there's no sleeping anymore, but my head isn't awake thinking on anything specific. It's up but not awake. Racing, but about what? 

Did you know that this average teenager's mind (I think teenager), isn't really awake until 9am? Those 7am classes are really a struggle. Looking at this bright screen is the pitch black has tired out my eyes. Maybe I can still salvage a few hours of sleep. 

Chocolate Milk

This is the third time I've tried starting this post about chocolate milk. We're just going to go with it this time. (I told you, getting started is always the hardest part)

So I have this friend, and this friend drinks chocolate milk religiously every night. I don't exactly know the deeper meaning as to why, but for now it's just because it's taste good and everyone has to feed their addiction. Anyway, when you start to hang around people a lot, you eventually pick up some of their habits. Needless to say, lately I've been craving chocolate milk. 

As I laid on my desk illegibly doing my history homework, I came to the end of my attention span (of 5 minutes) and decided to get up and go to the kitchen to do a couple things. When I got there I forgot what I went to the kitchen for (I still can't remember) but suddenly decided to make myself some chocolate milk. I spooned the chocolate power into my mug, just two small spoonfuls and looked into my mug wondering if this would be enough. Immediately my mind went back, as if the soon to be chocolate milk was a time machine. I remembered how as I kid it never seemed like enough chocolate powder to quench your chocolate thirst when the milk was poured, and how you always wanted to put three scoops in when your mom only put two.

 I didn't feel the urge to put another spoonful in my mug. 

When we mature and grow, do we gain control? Or do we simply follow the rules more? 

I thought about this for a minute. Of course there is no rule as to how much chocolate powder you can put into your glass, but it had always been just two spoonfuls for me. Did I just grow accustomed to the taste of only two spoonfuls that's I didn't crave another? Do I now follow without feeling? Or is this simply chocolate milk and I'm over thinking? I'm not sure, but there's something lost in the transition from a child to a young adult, that'd I'd like to put my finger on. Maybe it's something gained. In any case, tonight, chocolate milk seemed like the bridge. 

I put another spoonful in and mixed the milk.